Have you ever prayed with a child? It can be a mind-blowing experience. You never know what they will say as they commune with God. Sometimes you want to laugh out loud; sometimes you want to cry.

One of the most important legacies of faith we can pass on to our children is prayer. When we pray with our children, we are teaching them how to come before God. Let’s face it – most of us adults are not entirely comfortable with prayer. We often do not know how to approach God. Sometimes we have been hurt by our own relationship with God – by prayers that went seemingly unanswered, by tragedy, by the many things that can fracture our faith life. When that occurs, it makes it much harder for us to come to God with the faith of a child. Therefore, when we feel distant or unsure about God, it is hard to endorse a wholehearted trust in God in our children.

The faith of a child can be true and total. We want to protect our children. That complete trust they have seems dangerous to us. And it is, as we well know. People who trust get hurt. Sometimes, people who trust God get hurt. There is no worse feeling of betrayal than feeling abandoned by God, the one Being who is supposed to love and care for us more than anyone.

We can pray in one of two ways: formal and a little distant, or with complete trust. What happens when we get hurt in a relationship, be it a love relationship, a friendship, or with a family member? Well, reactions vary according to the personalities involved. However, one thing is often true – we withdraw. Like a turtle that retreats inside his shell during danger, we withdraw into a “safe” place each one of us has inside ourselves. Sometimes this is necessary to heal. Sometimes it is habit borne of hurt. Sometimes it is just safe. When we withdraw in a relationship, we often take a more formal approach with the other. Keeping a safe distance keeps us from getting too involved. We remain safe from further hurt or betrayal.

Our relationship with God is no different. This is especially true when we have tried to practice total faith in God. We work so hard at trust and faith. Then comes a moment that feels like unfaithfulness on the part of God. What have we done to deserve such treatment? We have been trying so hard to do what is right? He is supposed to know the limits of our strength. No good friend pushes you all the way to those limits knowingly.

So, we withdraw. We give up the earnest prayer time we have been striving for. We stop trying so hard to please Him. ‘Why bother’, we think. ‘It seems to make no difference to Him’. If we continue to communicate with Him at all, it is in a much more remote manner. We may or may not continue to attend church. Why bother with going to a friend’s house who does not treat you well?

Any relationship experiences ups and downs. Even our relationship with God goes through moments of extreme crisis. So, this formal withdrawal from Him can be a normal and natural reaction to a crisis of faith.

The problem occurs when we stay there. When our hurts overwhelm our ability to truly come before God. When the formal relationship we have with Him becomes our only faith connection. It is safe, but it is lifeless over a long period of time.

That brings us to the other way to pray – with complete trust, with the faith of a child. We can call this “dangerous faith”. It is an approach to God that leaves us vulnerable. When we decide to place our trust in a God that does not always make sense, who seems to leave us when we need Him, or who remains silent when we beg to hear His voice, we become dangerous ourselves. What is more intimidating than a person who trusts in spite of life throws at him?

Think of Job, in the Bible. He was a man of great faith, who loved, honored, and served God. Then, God brutally took all from him – home, livelihood, riches, children, health. Did Job blindly trust God through this? No – he yelled, he questioned, he was angry. Yet, he did not remain there. In the end, he decided to embark upon dangerous faith, and placed his trust in God again. Did others think Job insane? Yes, even his wife was dubious.

Dangerous faith goes hand in hand with wild abandonment. Our children can help teach us this dangerous faith. They live with dangerous faith. Think about it for a moment. They even display this dangerous faith towards their own parents. I make mistakes constantly, and my children know it. Yet, they continue to place their trust in me for their care(most of the time, and probably only until they are 12 or 13, but I will take it).

Our children’s approach to God can help free us from the ways we have fractured our relationship with Him. We have to take a deep breath, and be willing to bring them to God through teaching them to pray. We must do this is spite of our own fears and hurts. Our children deserve to know God. Parents are the ones on the front line to leading them there.

Will our children be hurt? Well, we cannot protect them from the Cross. They will suffer in various ways in their life, and we can not stop that from happening. Do we avoid riding in cars because there is a chance of an accident? Do we keep our children off playgrounds because they might get hurt? No. Life involves risks, no matter what you do. Faith is no different.

There is so much to say about children and prayer. It is a topic full and rich. Next week I will speak more specifically on how to add prayer into your daily life with your children.

home      back to archives