Children posses many qualities. Some of the ones that seem most foreign to adults are not so much foreign as forgotten. The one quality of children, and the childlike, which can seem most intimidating, is that of wild abandonment. Children are capable of rushing headlong into any emotion. Reason need not be a part of the whole process.

My youngest son came downstairs one day, sobbing loudly and heartbrokenly, as a four-year-old can.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Lukie is being mean to me,” he cried.

He was accusing his oldest brother, age 8, of this cruelty. Luke is not a cruel or mean child, but as eldest, he is inflicted with the oldest-sibling-bossy gene. So, I called the accused downstairs to be judged and dealt with.

Luke came and stood before me.

“Now Jonathan,” I continued, “tell me what happened.”

“Lukie is being mean to me.”

“No, I am not, Mom! I promise,” the oldest protested, “I don’t even know what he is talking about.”

When I asked Jonathan what Luke had done, this was his gut-wrenching, tear-filled answer:

“He won’t put my toy in his pocket!” he cried.

Jonathan proceeded to hold up a large plastic dinosaur, measuring about 10 inches tall and 12 inches long. Even had Luke been wearing baggy pants, this would have been impossible.

At the absurdity of this statement, both Luke and I could not keep a straight face. No amount of explaining could convince Jonathan that Luke’s refusal resulted from anything but meanness. He continued to express his sorrow until I had comforted him fully.

See, reason and logic does not always play a part of wild abandonment.

It is not just negative emotions that children deeply embrace. Have you ever heard children really laughing? That deep, body shaking laughter that rises up and can not be stopped? Or, a joyful shriek from an unexpected surprise?

Many adults have forgotten how to abandon themselves to abandonment. We are trained ourselves to “be polite”, to not draw attention to ourselves, to blend in. We make sure neither our joy nor our sorrow offends. There is a certain amount of this that is part of necessary social skills. However, we often go too far, and become buttoned up, unable to truly express how we feel to others, and even to ourselves.

Sometimes, wild abandonment is part of God’s call in our life. The disciples knew this well. They were offered a choice between safety and wild abandonment, and they chose the latter. One day, Peter and Andrew were going about their business, trying to support their families by fishing. Jesus walked by, and called to them to abandon all they knew and to follow him. Peter and Andrew “left their nets and followed him” (Mk. 1:18). Jesus walked a little further, until he reached James and John mending their fishing nets. He called them as well, and “they left their father Zebedee in the boat along with the hired men and followed him” (Mk. 1:20).

What must their friends and family have thought? These men left their livelihood, their means of living and their means of keeping their families alive, to follow an unknown, poor Jewish man. They had only the call of God in their hearts to explain their decision. They themselves must have felt unsure and scared, but they let themselves go, and they followed the man they would come to realize was the promised Messiah.

History tells us a little more how people reacted to another one who obeyed the call to wild abandon. Born Giovanni Bernardone in 1182, he grew up a privileged son of a wealthy merchant father. A happy, popular boy, he grew into a happy, popular young man, loving rich things and big parties. His father was quite proud of his son. Then, things began to change. The young man began to give away his possessions, his money, and having strange dreams. His father was angry and many people thought the young man had cracked. His father demanded he stop behaving this way. It only got worse. One day, the young man knelt in a church, before a crucifix, and prayed. The crucifix itself seemed to answer him, saying “Francis, go and rebuild my church, which you see is in ruins”. The young man took it literally, and began to beg around town for money and building materials. His son’s new life made his father furious, and he sued his son for the return of all he had given him. The lawsuit took place in a public courtyard, in front of the Bishop and many witnesses. The young man heard his father’s accusations, and simply stepped out of his clothes, returning all he had left to give, standing naked as a newborn in the courtyard. The Bishop covered him with his own robe, and the young man went off to make a life apart from his family. This seemingly crazy young man, who left all he knew, all he had, and behaved in such an abnormal manner, is the saint we know and revere as St. Francis.

God’s call to wild abandonment in our lives may not take so extreme a form as abandoning our known life, but can we be sure? Will you take the chance to listen? What will you do when you hear His voice? Would you follow with abandon?

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